Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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