I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He felt like a one man threesome
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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