i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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