So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So vagazzling was a success
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
