Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
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Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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