I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
