yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so let's talk penis.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
