So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
