You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize