eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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