Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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