Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
