My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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