The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize