Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He has the fingertips of a God
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