Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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