Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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