Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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