i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
