if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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