Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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