either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
