Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize