Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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