...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
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Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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