well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Buhtt sex?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize