oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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