next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
