it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
