My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
MIDGETS
????
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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