oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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