Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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