Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
