I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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