WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.