PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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