the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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