I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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