there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
