My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
