I smell stomach acid.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize