You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize