i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
