so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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