Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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