our cab driver is having phone sex.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
