FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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