And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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