I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
