i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
